onlyconspiracy's Journal

@ robbie's house
so i am at robbie's house right now and its like midnight, but that's not the point now is it. It is spring break and it just sux b/c it's snowing and I am fucking tired. Plus, i have like no miles on my car so i can't drive like anywhere. This is soooooo gay. But hey, gotta have fun right. I guess i'll just keep on living my life the way i do...ok....ok.

More than that, it just sux that meghan is not here right now. She left on thursday and it just sux. I don't really know what to say about our relationship right now. She says i am way toooo dependent on her i don't get that. She says i scare her through the ways that I love her so much. And i am sick of all this shit b/c people say that i don't love her. Does anyone really know what love is. It could be just an imbalance of hormones in ur body causing a sick feeling in your stomach. But the questions remains, What exactly in love?

I don't really know how to answer that question. Love is a thing that i feel when i am with meghan. it is allowing myself to be.....myself. No matter what. I have been in love once b4 meghan and let's just say that it didn't turn out very good. But maybe that was the right thing. So many bad things happened to me and meghan for us to start dating. So much shit happened in my life at least to realize how much i luv her.

I love meghan and i think it is goin to b the hardest thing to get through this week b/c she is gone. I won't be able to talk to her, and it sux b/c she will b having fun....and i won't. But hey, next year when i am at college, the roles will switch. She'll have to deal with me being away 24/7 and i will b having all the fun in the world....all the time. So...if i am tooo dependent on her...big fucking deal. I am trying this new thing out...not sharing my feelings.......If i can't share my feelings with her without making me feel retarded, I guess i'll do it via live journal!

Current Mood: apathetic

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